Monday, 26 August 2019

My Medical Condition.

I have a little job query, but in order to ask my question, I need to tell you a little bit about a medical condition that I have, so in the spirit of sharing, sit back, relax and I will tell you what happened when I was born.

I was a very special baby, not only did my mom NOT know she was pregnant, but I was also a premature baby, they could tell this by my size. So I was put straight into an incubator to give me a bit of a fighting chance.

My mom has this picture of me at home in the incubator with tubes and things, it must have been so scary for her. So from when I was born till I was a couple days old I had my fist clenched and when I finally opened it my mom was in for a shock.

I was born with an extra thumb! This is also known as thumb duplication or polydactyly of the thumb.

     (You can just about see my two thumbs)

On my right hand I had 4 fingers and two thumbs, both thumbs were deformed, and I eventually had one of them removed. I had quite a few operations on the remaining thumb while I was growing up, I even once had to have it straightened and the only thing small enough to be able to do the job was a paperclip!!! Honestly no lie, I had a paper clip in my thumb.

(You can see the deformation from after the extra thumb was removed)

I was also told that if by the age of 21 my thumb looked unproportionate to my hand they would look at cosmetic surgery to match it if I wanted to. I have never had that problem, my hands are quite small so my thumb looks in proportion with my hand. 

So this brings me to this year. I have always known because of my joints in my thumb that I have to be careful, if I knock it or bang it or when it gets cold, I need to just be careful with it. So at Christmas while at work I ended up trapping my thumb in-between two trays and it really hurt. I ended up in a and e and having X rays and there was also the possibility of me having to have another operation. This was the thing I dreaded the most. I hate operations, I have had so many bad experiences with them and the thought of it makes me feel sick. 

Thankfully I haven't had to have an operation and after some exercises, pain killers and rest the pain had gone, but it showed me how fragile my thumb is.

It also got me thinking, if I was to apply for another job, what do I tick on that section where it says Disability, do I say yes? I have never seen my thumb as a Disability, it has never stopped me doing anything, but it is an ongoing medical condition, so where would I write that?

(This is how my thumb looks now, scars and all)

It also made me worry that if I was to say I have an ongoing medical problem, would that stop me from getting the job? Like I said I have never had my thumb stop me from doing anything (except bowling, it's not strong enough to support the ball so I have to use my left hand).

What do you advise I do? I know this is a random insite into my life but I want to share more with you about me and I guess this is part of who I am. My weird little paperclipped thumb!

See you later

Tuesday, 26 March 2019


Something has been bugging .... no not bugging, that is too nice a word, something has been down right peeing me off for about a week and a half and I am finally ready to talk about it.

There are thousands of children in the UK who are waiting to be adopted, I see lots of adverts looking for people who are interested in adopting. There is even a week in October dedicated to making people aware of children in the adoption system. You see posts about how it doesn't matter if you are a single person, a couple, gay or straight and there was even a push to find adoptive parents from different ethnic backgrounds.

When Paul and I started to look into adoption, I had heard stories from other larger women who told me that they had been turned down for adoption because of their size. I was so shocked because I had never heard of this, I honestly thought ''no it can't be true it had to have been because of something else''. So a couple weeks ago when we contacted a couple of local adoption agencies you can imagine my shock and disgust when I was told that we would have to be working towards a BMI of 40 or below in order for us to be considered as good adoptive parents. All adoption agencies require you to be a fit and healthy person.

SO what about me? My current BMI is 42.5 which means I am just out of that range, but what I would like to know is what has my BMI got to do with who I am as a person. The argument around the weight and adoption is that if you are at an unhealthy weight, you will not be fit enough to look after a child. Yes because all of us fatties are the worst of the worst you know we are the spot of the face of humanity and we deserve to not have kids.

 What about all those fat babes who have children biologically I hear you ask. Well fear not you will not have a doctor burst into your labour room and remove your child. That's right if I could have a child I would be totally fine, I wouldn't need to have a BMI of 40 or less. I could have as many children as possible, but the minute I want to give a child a home, loving parents and a life without social services being involved I need to be a ''healthy'' weight.

I am a nice person, my husband is a nice person, we have two lovely dogs, a nice home, we cook from scratch at least 4 times a week. We take our dogs for long walks to national trust locations, we have family close to where we live. One of the best schools in our area is at the bottom of our road and the park is across from our front door. I think these are the things you need to look at for a family, not my weight.

I do not think that enough people know that this is going on, it is not made public but this kind of thing is discriminating against fat people. I understand that you need to be able to look after your children, but being fit and healthy is not something you can tell by looking at anyone. Also if it is because they want adoptive parents to run around with their children, what about parents who are in wheelchairs? This whole thing makes me angry. I can't say more then that, I am so mad about this. I am a good person and all I want is to be a good parent. Why wont they let me?


Wednesday, 16 January 2019

Weightloss questions

Weight loss is a very hard thing to do, you have to plan and put time into helping yourself get to a place you want to be. It can be so hard for people if you have no idea where to start. So I am working with a few bloggers on a Weight loss question post, we have come up with question to answer to give you that little boost you need to start off your journey.

1. What is the reason for your weight loss?
As I have said in my previous blog, the reason I want to lose weight is because I want to begin IVF treatment, if you want to know more about my journey take a look at my blog post here.

2. What pitfalls have you come across that have made your weight loss journey unsuccessful?
My name is Charlotte and I have no self control!!! I am terrible when it comes to controlling myself, I will start off really good and see the weight coming off, but if I have a bad day or I am too tired to cook, I will just opt for a take away or chocolate. I need to learn to plan more for meals and have it all planned out for my week, I also need more lunch ideas. At work we don't have a microwave so I need idea's for cold lunches (if you have any please leave them in the comments).

3. What are your favourite meal ideas for healthy eating?
When I am in full focus mode I am so good with cooking and keeping to points (I am currently on Weight Watchers) I have made a few meals that I love. I have this ''Spanish'' chicken meal I make that it is so nice. I also love making soups, my favourite is Carrot and Coriander.

4. What are your favourite exercises?
I don't mind when I am at the gym, my biggest problem is going to the gym, so I have recently downloaded the ''Couch to 5k'' app, I have Sarah Millican in my ears egging me on and it really helps. The app is made so it gradually gets you from a non runner to running 5k in around about 30 min, over the course of 9 weeks. I like running and it really helps me to get out of my head. I am also looking into yoga, I am a total newbie to this so I am looking into different yoga youtube channels to see where to start. I have been introduced to ''Yoga with Adriene'' on youtube and she is currently doing a 30 day yoga journey that I am going to begin. I am so excited.

5. How do you stay motivated?
I am not going to lie, it is so hard for me to focus, and I have cried and hated myself more then once, but I have also created a folder on my pintrest that has baby pictures and nursery pictures in to remind me why I am doing this. Also I need to remember that if I have a bad day, that is fine, I just wake up the next morning and start again. This is a marathon not a sprint. I am not going to lose 6 stone in a week and I just need to get back on that horse, stop hating myself and remember why I am doing this, for my baby.

6. How to you celebrate your success?
I have decided that every time I lose a stone I am going to reward myself, so on my first stone loss I am going to get my hair cut, second I am getting it coloured, third my nails are going to be done, that's really all I have so far, but I know my sixth stone I am getting a full new wardrobe.

7. Have you set an overall goal?
My doctor has told me in order to begin looking into IVF I would need to get down to 10 stone, so I need to lose 6 stone. I think my overall lose may be a little bit more then that, but I will see how I go and take it day by day.

8. Do you follow other weight loss social media accounts, if so who are your favourites?
I have a few, my main faves are all fellow WW people, my fav's are : mamabear_wwuk she was the first person I spoke to, and she has given me a lot of support, ww_paul has amazing food ideas, and he also introduced me to Heck chicken sausages and I love them, healthyjoanne has been amazing, she was in the WW magazine and I happened to tag her in a instagram story, and she messaged me, she is so lovely.

9. Where do you buy your work out clothing?
As of yet I haven't bought any but I have my eyes on the new Alice Liveing and Primark collaboration for sports wear, they go up to larger sizes which I think is really good. The collection has pinks and greys and they are my favourite colours.

10. What advice would you give to a weight loss newbie?
My advice would be plan your meals, as I said before I have a huge problem with meals and I am finding myself falling over when it comes to going to work. So the more I plan the better I will be, also if you have a day were you just eat everything in sight, don't worry, it is one day in a long journey, and even if 1 day turns into 1 week, draw a line under it and start again. You got this.

I hope these questions have helped you in some way, I have teamed up with

Yorkshire mum of 4

Herding Cats

Steffs Journey

to collaborate on this blog, so make sure you go and check them out too, as their advice will be different to mine and you can see how weight loss is for people of different sizes.

See you soon
Lots of Love
Lottie Xxx

Saturday, 12 January 2019

My Baby Journey

My baby journey, as many of you know, has not been an easy one. After 3 years of trying, there is sadly still no sign of a bump. So I have decided to take a leap of medical faith and listen to the doctor. I have joined Weight Watchers and am going to lose some weight.

Not gonna lie I have been so scared to write this, because I worry that I will get backlash from some people in the plus size community. I know that I might not, but my anxiety tells me that people will think I am turning my back on the fat life and giving it up. The truth is that yes there are plenty of women out there who are fat and can have children, but the other truth is I am not one of those women. So in order for me to have my family I need to lose some weight and see if it gives us that chance of having a baby.

I have always said that if you want to lose weight then do it, be who ever you want to be, but I also said if you do want to lose weight, do it for the right reasons, not because you think it will make you popular, or the women you see on social media look like that, do it because it is what you want. A baby has always been in my head as what I want and if losing weight is what I need to do to get a baby I will do it, but I am doing it for me and my family.

In a post a few weeks ago I spoke about how doctors have told me that I need to lose weight in order to be considered for IVF, back then that doctor told me I would need to lose 6 stone. I have no shame in saying I am 16 stone (or at least the last time I weighed myself I was). So I need to get to 10 stone or less in order for our IVF journey to begin.

For anyone who is interested I will be writing 1 blog post every month dedicated to my weight loss, so you can follow along and see how I am getting on. So ... why Weight Watchers? Well in the past if I wanted to lose weight I went to Slimming World, I found it helpful and I felt that I could eat a lot. However, since stepping back and looking at it from another direction I have seen that it is a bit weird and more of a making money plan. For example, in 2017 Slimming World had a dispute with Asda over some ready meals they had come out with, the packaging stated that the meals were ''free to enjoy following the Slimming World Extra Easy Plan''. The reason SW gave for the dispute was :

        ''Slimming World sought an injunction over the use of their trademark on the 12 meals, claiming the company (Asda) had not supplied enough information on ingredients used.'' (taken from the Telegraph 19th March 2017)

I believe that the ingredient's had nothing to do with it. I think they did this because they had a deal with Iceland and the meals Asda were selling were cheaper then the Iceland meals, which meant the sales went down and they lost money. Another example is Heck sausages, when I was on SW Heck sausages were syn free, after I left even tho the ingredients to the sausages never changed, the syn value went up and why did it go up? I believe it was because the sale of SW sausages went down. I know this makes me sound like I'm bashing them and I don't mean to because for some people this plan works, but I just find it strange how they change the rules so quickly. 

I started Weight Watchers just before Christmas, I was getting used to the plan in December but now I am able to find my way properly around the app I find it is so much easier to use and it is not that strict either. You have 24 daily points called SP's (Smart Points) to use, all food is pointed differently, some foods are 0 sps, these you can have as many as you like as you are not using any points, then other things are pointed. It is all about giving you the tools to make the choices. The app even has a full section for restaurant's, so if I choose to go to a very well know Fried Chicken place, I know how many points I will use. 

My favourtie part is that every week you have what is called weeklies, which are 44 points you can use at any time in the week. So its like a back up, if you know your going to go out on Friday for a meal you can use your daily points in the day and then have 44 points to use on your dinner, and you still know that you can possibly still have lost weight. 

I have noticed already that I am making better choices about what I eat because I don't want to spend a lot of points on particular meals. I love having points left over on the night time to have a bit of a treat tray, so I know that I can look forward to having nice yummy stuff at the end of the day. 

So far I am finding it very easy to use and I honestly do feel it different. Unfortunately I am not moving a lot at the moment because I am off sick from work, but as soon as I am moving about more the weight will come off me even quicker. 

I am also looking into the Coach to 5k app, I have downloaded it on my phone and I love that I can have Sarah Millican keep me company while I am running. I want to be a bit more active too, so for me it isn't about how quickly the weight can come off, it is more about how much more I am able to move around and not get out of breath by just walking up the stairs.

Anyway I have rabbited on about this for a while now so, I will leave it here, but if you do want to follow my weight loss and baby journey a bit more closely then please follow my Instagram which you can find here. I post everyday and let you know how I am getting on with food and ovulating and all that fun stuff. 

See you soon
Lots of Love 

Tuesday, 1 January 2019


I have always thought that ''New Year New Me'' is a bit s**t, I don't think you should need to wait for the 1st January to make any changes. 

 That being said, I am making a bit of a change to my life this year. As many of you know, Paul and I have been trying for a baby for a very long time (3 years in May to be precises). I have had appointments with doctors and they have said that the only way for us to get any kind of IVF treatment or medical help with getting pregnant is for me to loose some weight. To be exact 6 stone!

On 5th December I weighed myself and I was 16 stone, since then I have lost 9 lbs, although the last time I weighed myself was boxing day and I have eaten so many goodies since then so I may have gained this week but that is ok. I want everyone to understand I am still very body positive and very happy right now with how my body looks. I also have one thought that follows me everyday and that is that I want a baby. 

I know people will say but plus size women have babies all the time, which is true, but try telling any women who has been trying for nearly 3 years to relax and it will happen. I have tired just trying, I have tried tracking ovulation, I have tried not think about it. Trust me this is the LAST option I wanted to take. As I said before I am happy with who I am right now, I don't feel that I HAVE to loose weight, I want to and being body positive is all about accepting any body at any size. 

If you would like to follow my journey to loosing weight and trying for a baby you can follow it here.

Something else I am going to do this year is begin a new section to my blog. A topic I have always been interested in is murderers, which I understand some people will think is weird but oh well, I love it. It is going to be called Mid Month Murderer and I got the idea from a new youtube channel I have began to watch. A women called Stephanie Harlowe, she is a Youtuber who has a weekly video called Mystery Monday, and she talks about murder mysteries and also recently has began to look into Cults (which is my next venture). I will link her channel here, so you can go and check her out. My first murderer I will be looking into is Nannie Doss AKA The Giggling Granny, in the middle of January, so keep your eyes peeled for that. 

That is it for now as an update and I hope that you understand my reasons behind loosing weight. I will be back soon. 

Lots of Love