Ok so I am sheepishly coming back to my much overlooked blog.
I guess what has been stopping me writing is life. I have had work, anxiety problems, wedding planning and baby making going on, this by the way sadly isn't a pregnancy announcement. For all the trying we have been doing it just doesn't seem to be happening for us just yet but I have plans to write a blog about what we have been through in the future.
I guess to give you a bit of an update. Work is normal, my anxiety was under control for a little while but has lately been on and off, which I suppose can be linked to the wedding and getting everything sorted. I am still on tablets for it, which I take when ever I feel a panic attack coming on.
I found an anxiety and depression support group in my local area but I have been too scared to go, which doesn't help me really but I think it is because I am a big chicken who is too scared to actually go and get help because I am worried I will be judged. I understand it is a support group so people wont judge but when I think about going to the group it's just scary.
Wedding, well anyone who has ever planned a wedding will know how much pressure you put yourself under and how scared you get that it will all go wrong. We are only having a small wedding, 14 people in the day and another 30 at night so it is very small, there wont be a DJ at night time either it's more just getting people together and being a family. We have lots planned but all I think is, will people think it's rubbish??? My dress though OMG my dress makes me smile so much!!!! It is so cute and pretty and I can't wait to show you all the pictures!!!!
I am pulling a Duchess of Cambridge and doing my own make up on the day, so I have been practising that look and getting it down to a tee. I also have the run through of the morning in my head. So here is hoping it all goes the way I have planned (and if that actually happens it will be a bloody miracle), with 6 weeks to go I am just feeling so nervous and excited all at the same time, there is still a couple DIY's left to do but then it will all be finished.
So baby news, well no baby yet, we tried for 2 and a half years and nothing, so after a particularly hard time of me thinking I was pregnant and then having a negative test we decided to stop actively trying. As I said before I will be posting a LONG ass blog about what we have been through.
I think that is it for a little catch up on me and what has been going on. I am mostly active on my Instagram so if you want to keep up with me give me a follow there and you can see me more.
See you all soon
Lots of love