Monday, 22 January 2018

Turning 30 and still clueless!

30!!!!!! When the hell did that happen, ok well it hasn't happened yet, but this year I turn 30, 30! 

When I was younger I alway's thought that by this time I would already be married and have children and be a famous actress. Ok yes I do get married this year, but apart from that I guess life doesn't turn out how we want sometimes. 

Even when I was 20 I thought I have 10 years to find someone to marry, get a job I love and pop out some kids. In fact I went to uni, now work in retail and kids are something I am praying for. Ok so I am making my life seem really rubbish at the moment, in truth it isn't. Yes ok I have no idea what career I would love to do as I seem to change my mind every week, but I have a lovely home, a gorgeous doggy, a man I love and did I mention I get married this year??? 

At high school I would look at grown ups who are my age now and I thought they must be so clued up, they know what they are doing and they have a life. Now I am that age, I am just as clueless as I was back then.

Family wise I am very happy, I have my fiancee and our dog and our home. Yes I would love a baby but that is being worked on. Job wise, erm lets not talk about that. I would love to write for a living but I don't think my grammar and spelling would do very well. I would also love to teach but I don't have the money to go back to uni to train again. I think I am beginning to come to the conclusion that you never really have your life together. 

I find myself getting unbelievably weirded out by the fact that myself and Paul are adulting at all, like when it sinks in that you have a job and you pay for everything, I sometimes feel like I am just playing house but then something will happen and I will look for an adult and it sinks in that I am the adult. 

When did that happen???? Like I still only understand 1 function on my washing machine!! I still don't fully understand how to make poached egg. I don't always do the washing up, I still leave clothes lying around. The only difference between now and when I was a teenager is that my mom isn't around asking me to bring plates down or to do my washing. 

I cant be the only person out there who is utterly clueless at this age??? Please tell me I'm not, please, someone out there....... 

Don't get me wrong I do love adulting too, like no one can tell me not to eat chocolate cake at 7 in thr morning, but then you have to pay all the bills. You have to do a full food shop but then no one can tell you not to order pizza. I suppose it's a bit give and take.

Anyone else suck at adulting?

See You Soon
Lots of love 

Friday, 5 January 2018

Fat Bride!!

If you know me personally or you are following me on Instagram or Twitter you will know that I am getting married this year!!! I am so unbelievably happy that I can finally say that. I get married in July and honestly I can't wait. 
As a fat bride I knew the ''in'' thing was to loose weight and fit into that dream dress. Every bridal magazine I bought was full of articles like ''How to stop bloating on the big day'' ''Loose 5lbs before your wedding'' ''Best detox diet''. 

I felt like Fat Alice falling down the dieting rabbit hole. Those words were running around in my head, diet, loose weight, fit in that dress. 

Even when I went dress shopping, the women helping me into gowns assumed I would be loosing weight before the big day. I was told which dress would suit my figure after loosing a few pounds. I was told how to make my waist look smaller. 

I went along with it because in my head that is what brides do, they loose weight to have pictures to look back on and say 'oh I looked amazing on my wedding day'. But there is a big secret that the diet industry don't want you to know and that is 

          'No matter what you WILL look amazing on your wedding day' 

Your wedding day is going to be the happiest day of your life, it doesn't matter what you look like, what you wear, who is there, all that matter's is that you are marrying the person you love, and love makes everyone look beautiful. Of course a gorgeous outfit always helps haha. 

I have been through 3 wedding dresses. 2 of which I was positive I would loose weight to fit into, but then I found a lovely lady by the name of Megan AKA BodyPosiPanda and she helped me to realise I don't need to loose weight to be beautiful. I already am beautiful. I started to look at other fabulous fat women and see that what made them so brilliant was their ability to not give a shit about what people thought of them. 

I realised I didn't need to loose weight to be a beautiful bride, because I am going to be a beautiful bride no matter what a set of scales or a magazine article says.

SO for all you plus size, fat, curvy brides out there let me tell you one thing, you do not need to change, you do not need to loose weight for a dress, just be yourself, be you, that is who your marrying fell in love with. You are perfect just the way you are.

See you Soon
Lots of Love