Sunday, 19 November 2017


As I have said before I want this to be my safe place where I can talk about what is going on in my head. Well what is going on is not a happy place at the moment. 

My fiancee and I have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years now and still nothing. I am not going to lie I have been at my lowest point over this time, I feel like I am the one who is at fault. 

Since setting the date for the wedding we haven't been trying, as knowing my luck it would be when I got pregnant and we wouldn't be able to save for both. Although after going to the doctors a while ago I got an appointment to go and have some test done to see what is going on. I am honestly so scared. I think it is because as long as I hadn't seen a specialist in my head I can think what I like, but once I have been and the doctor has the results, I have to face the reality. 

Since booking the appointment I have been getting upset when I am around children. A few weeks ago myself and Paul were in a lift with three families all of which had children and it honestly made my heart hurt. I just kept thinking that we will never have that. The pain increases even more when I hear on the news that the rules on IVF may be changing soon and that when adopting you are not looked on well if you are a plus size person. 

I feel like I will never have children, when all I want to do is have a family with Paul. 

My head is all over the place when it comes to this topic and it hurts to think about it so I think I am going to stop now. I just wanted to share a little bit of what is going on in my head, also I think if I write it down and put it out there in the universe maybe it will help me a little. 

See you soon 
Lots of Love 

Gift Ideas For Xmas on A Budget

I will freely admit that this year Christmas for us is on a budget. Paul and I are still saving for our wedding which is in July, so I thought I would show you some ideas for gifts in case you are looking for gift ideas but not sure where to look.

Trust me you can get some right bargains out there and there are more places to go rather then Boots 3 for 2, not that there is anything wrong with Boots, but lets face it, it is still pricey.

Yep you heard me Primark, they are now doing a lot more beauty products, not just make up but hair too. They are 2 in 1 so this means u can straighten your hair like normal, but this has rounded ends which means it also doubles up as a curler, so if you are like me and you like to have a little curl and movement in your hair this is brill for it.

For all those music lovers out there this is brill! You get Headphones, Earphones and a bluetooth speaker. They come in different colours including Rose Gold and Black. Perfect for parents to get kids who blast music too much, or for someone travel, or if like me you love playing music while doing house work the speaker is perfect.

My dad has always said he wanted a jigsaw, I got his from B&Q and that was £29, I know this is not that much cheaper but as Tesco says ''every little helps'' so to the person in your life who likes power tools, this is a nice little saver.

Everyone must remember this game from there childhood, I do. On the website it says ages 4-8 but I say 4 - no age limit. Perfect game for Christmas day. Imagine it, all presents opened dinner is in the oven, and the whole family sit down with some music and play hungry hippos, seems like a good day to me. This is currently £12.99 in B&M, so little saving but still a saving.

For me there is nothing better then coming home on Christmas Eve getting into new pjs and watching a nice film. I love these pjs, they include little bed socks too so you really can get nice and cosy.

So that is it for my little gift guide, I hope it gives you a couple ideas as to where to get some bargains and also to shop around and find the same things in different places. Let me know if you find any other good gifts. 

See you Soon
Lots of Love 

Saturday, 4 November 2017

Bonfire Night Ideas

''Remember remember the 5th of November the Gun powder Treason and Plot, 
I know of no reason why the Gun powder Treason should ever be forgot''

It is that time again, fluffy hats and gloves, wrapped up in big coats and scarfs, watching fire work displays and bomb fires. Firstly I would like to say that this time of year is to be taken seriously, you need to make sure you are safe first and second make sure your animals are ok. Our dog Coco can be a little funny with fireworks, sometimes she is fine but if its constant she gets scared and can be a bit shaky, so just make sure you and your animals are all safe. 

That being said this time of year can be so much fun, I remember being a kid and my mom would get me sparklers every year and we would stand outside with then making shapes and trying to write my name, you have no idea how hard it is to write 'Charlotte' in sparklers at the age of 6, no wonder I go by Lottie. 

I am not going to a fireworks display this year, and so I thought it would be a nice idea to give you ideas as to what you can do to still have that bonfire night experience. 

My number one is always food, so for me bonfire night makes me think of Jacket Potatoes, Hotdogs, burgers. All things you get at a fire, and they aren't too expensive to get them either so you are well away. 

Toffee Apples!!! I love toffee apples, (I had one tonight, tasted just as good as I remember) they are so good and even with a mouth full of sweet teeth my sweetness was satisfied. 

As a kid I never had this but Paul has said he always had it on bonfire night, Chilli, I do love chilli but I never had it on bonfire night, but I can see the logic as it is such a nice comfort food and you can always do what me and Paul do and put it over jacket potatoes and then add cottage cheese and sweetcorn on top! It is LUSH!!!

As for entertainment, I say anything you like, if there is a firework display near your house you can always pop out into the back garden and have a watch, or just stick a movie on and have a nice family night in, which to be honest is probably going to be what I do. 

OS that is my idea of having a good bonfire night. What will you be doing tonight and tomorrow?? Let me know in the comments. 

See you Soon 

Lots of Love 

My Favourite Time of Year

Like most people Autumn is my most favourite time of the year, I love the colours, the feeling in the air. The smells of the log burns. The crunchy leaves, it makes me feel all nice and fuzzy inside. I wanted to share with you some of the things I love doing this time of year so if you ever have nothing to do you can tunr to the list and think 'ye I'll do that today'' 

This time of year I think is perfect for a lovely walk, on your own, with someone, with a pet, what ever you like. We have the added bonus of not having the harsh winter rain and enjoying the crips weather. I love to grab my travel mug, fill it with Hot Chocolate or coffee, which ever grabs my fancy, putting on so boots, and nice scarf (mental note I need a new scarf), and a big coat and just going for a walk in the big park opposite my house. I love seeing the colours change on the leaves. New seasons always make me happy anyway but Autumn especially because it is like the trees are shedding there last year, and waiting for a new life to grow. It's like what we can do, the last two months of the year is when we can start to drop that baggage of this year and start to think of making a fresh start. 

Film day 
I think this is a must especially with the days getting shorter and colder. I love just grabbing a blanket and snuggling on the sofa with goodies and watching movies, Harry Potter marathon is always good, and if your a hard core fan you can actually watch all the films in just over 23 hours, so good if you have a couple days off together. 

Most people have that list of books that just keeps getting longer and longer, and every year you start to tell yourself I will read this. Well this is the perfect time to do it. Again I get a nice blanket snuggle up with a hot drink and crack a book open, I have set myself the challenge of finishing Megan Jayne Crabbe's book which I am not afraid to say at the moment I am failing miserably at, but I will get back on track with it. I will finish it by next year and then I will set myself a new challenge, so keep your eyes open for that. 

National Trust Visits. 
For me and Paul it is a lot easier as we have a car and yearly passes to the NT, so I would advise anyone thinking of it to get one. I love our passes and take full advantage of them every month. Not only is it a very cheap day out if you are strapped for cash, grab a picnic and your passes and your well away. Also you will find some of the larger houses and places do events around the holidays. My favourite NT place at the moment has to be Dunham Massey. It is beautiful, has reindeer in, gorgeous gardens, and also lovely entertainment for the kids. All for a nice little price tag each month, instead of a large price tag every month. 

What do you like to do this time of year? Let me know in the comments? 

See you soon 
Lots of Love


I had never planned to do this post but I thought about it this morning so I thought I would squeeze another post out and see if anyone can relate to this.

I (like most people) have heard all the myths and legends about 3 am. Being the opposite time to Jesus's crucifixion it is seen by religion as a Devil Oman, you also have the spooky time which says that 3 am is suppose to be the most paranormal time of all night. Then you have that age old tale of, if you wake up in the middle of the night then it means someone is watching you. 

Well I am someone who from a very early age I have never been able to fully sleep through the night, I always wake up, either generally or to go to the bathroom, but I never sleep all night through. The past few weeks I have been a bit paranoid to check my phone when I wake up for fear of seeing that little number 3, and yet like some very weird body clock, I am waking up between 3 and 3.10 every morning. 

Maybe my mind is going into overdrive because it is now Halloween (31st October) as I write this, but I don't know, I just find that is the time I wake up. Then my mind just goes a bit crazy, I cant get up because I'll see a figure, what if I do see a figure, what am I  going to do?

Another thing that happens is I always do feel like someone is watching me, when I lived with my parents the bathroom was on the floor below my bedroom so I had to go up and down the stairs, since my mom and dad were asleep I would tend to go in the dark, I felt like someone was following me and you can bet that I ran up those stairs after. Now I live with Paul we have an en suite, but whenever I come out of it my eye instantly fix on our bedroom door like there is going to be someone stood there. Please tell me I am not the only person this happens to? 

I suppose the reason I am writing this is because it has been playing on my mind a little bit and I wanted to share in the hope that I am not the only one ... hopefully. Or if there is someone out there like me you will know you are not on your own, I am that weirdo too waking up at 3 am and thinking people are around me. 

Maybe it is my head going into overdrive because I was brought up catholic, or I watch too many horror films, but I suppose I can't be the only one right? 

See you soon
Lots of Love