Saturday, 9 June 2018

A Letter To My Mom


29 years have passed since you became a new person. I popped up as a huge surprise and from that day you were Mommy. Unlike other mothers you didn't know I was there, you didn't have time to get things ready, no scans to see me growing, no movement in your tummy but I was there a little secret that not even you new about yet.

 Ever since I was born you have been there for me, my rock. You were strong through everything with my biological father not wanting anything to do with me. You were the one teaching me to walk and to talk. You lost sleep, gave up things. You were the person who held my hand when I had operations.

After a few years of it being just me and you, you brought in the man that would fill our lives with joy and make me his daughter. You both have helped me ever since.

Mom you have been the person I have turned to with everything. When I was being bullied, you were the mom who marched up to the school, telling them that I was not going to be put through this. You stood up to everyone you were my hero.

Memories of my childhood flood back while writing this, like me playing out with friends and when dinner was done, you would open your bedroom window and just scream ''Charlotte, dinner!''. After you would yell at me for being naughty, you would always bring me up biscuits and juice to see if I was alright.

I still remember the day I discovered the truth about the tooth fairy, when I ran up after you and saw you put that shiny gold pound coin under my pillow then run over to my window acting like that was the real reason you had gone into my room.

I also remember pushing your buttons like any girl does with her mother. I remember crying to you when things didn't go how I wanted them to. You getting me through the stress of exams and then the river of tears we both had when I finally grew up and moved away to university.

Standing in that car park at uni watching you and dad drive away was so hard to watch, but no matter how hard it was for me I can only imagine how hard it was for you. You carried me my entire life and watching me grow up must be hard. Hoping you have raised me right and brought me up to be my own person.

You have given me the best life ever, you were always there for me, with sheep sheep, dad, you stood strong when I was so scared and you never showed me you were ever scared of what would happen. To me I had the best childhood of my entire life.

Now as a grown women with a house and family of my own, I still call you for the most stupid of things ''Mom how do I get this stain out'' ''Mom what does this letter mean'' ''Mom how do I cook this'' I will always need you and I will always be your little girl.

You make me so proud to have you as my mom. I don't call you half as much as I should and there are so many things I wish I would have listen to properly about like ironing and cooking and washing when I was living with you.

You help me in more ways then I can even begin to say with words and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for not giving me up, thank you for being both mother and father to me, thank you for always being there for me, thank you for teaching me to be me and thank you for accepting me for who I am. Thank oyu for being distant enough to let me grow and close enough to be my safety net. You are still my rock and I will always love you.

Love you Mommy
Your little girl

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