I wanted to write a little blog on Body confidence and how I learnt to have a little of it.
When I was younger, like most kids, I was bullied and it was mainly about my weight, looking back now I don't think I was a big child, I was the same as other little girls, but for some reason I was the odd one out and get picked on.
Sometimes I honestly don't think people realise how hard this can be on some peoples lives, I am quite a sensitive person so anything people say tends to hit me a bit hard. I will always think it is myself who is in the wrong even if I am right. It's just the kind of person I am and I think that this bullying had a huge effect on my life.
I was never really happy with who I was or what I looked like, no matter what I would try I could never figure out how to dress, I would always pick totally wrong items for my body shape, but I wanted to dress like my friends.
High school was really the time when I was putting weight on, I was eating way too much and it was all the wrong things, my mom would give me money to go to school with and I'd just spend it on sweet on the way home and then eat a full dinner and pudding.
Then in college it was even worse, there was a pizza place a few minutes walk away and being paid to go to college made it too easy for me and my friends to quickly pop down to the pizza place in our break.
The worst time for my weight gain was when I was working in an office, I wasn't active because I would be sat at my desk all day, it never really hit me till I starting going for nights out with friends and they would put pictures up of me, this is when my yo yo dieting started.
When I went to uni I was at my biggest weight but between the September I started and January after Christmas I actually lost over two stone in weight. The down side to this was I was doing it the wrong way, spending my money on nights out instead of food, this stopped and even though I was eating properly I was gaining more and more weight. By the time I left uni I was back up to my original weight.
I had been to two different gyms and I was fine for a few months and then I would just stop, I was getting very down because of my size and I didn't know what to do, thankfully I was sent a little angel tho, in the form of an amazing women called Tess Munster.
Tess is a plus size model in the USA and she is all about body confidence, I started to follow her on Instagram and on Facebook and I loved all the photos she would take and all the positive messages she would put up.
The first time I thought to myself that I can love my body is a picture I saw, which was of Tess in a two piece bikini and she has written a letter to ''Society'' ...
When I look at this picture I see the most amazing strong women and I thought, you know what why can't I think that, I am a FAT women, (oooo ye I totally dropped the ''F'' word) and I am going to learn to love every last inch of my fat body, because if I don't love me then why would anyone else.
I decided for every negative thing I said about myself I would say two positive things, because there is only so much negativity you can say about yourself.
It really worked for me, when ever I would think 'Omg I look huge' I would also think 'but I have such nice eyes and the cutest nose' and slowly I started to build myself up.
I am the first person to admit that the bad things are the easiest things to believe but actually look at yourself and saying positive things always works, I also find my best friends ben and jerry help if I am having a bad day hehe.
The other thing that helps are my friends, family and my boyfriend, they give me confidence, my friends are always there to tell me how much of an amazing person I am, my mom and dad are amazing for when I am feeling down and my boyfriend is always telling my how nice I look and that really does help but it really does start from you.
So maybe the next time you think something bad about yourself maybe think of two positive things to go with it, trust me it is hard I'm not going to lie, but you get use to doing it and you start to believe yourself.
The other thing about getting a boost is something I got to do the other day, which is to meet my idol, Tess came over to the UK, and I get to meet her and speck to her, I got total star struck and probably sounded like a babbling idiot haha but I got to meet her and OMG she is the nicest person I have ever met, I couldn't think of the words to tell her that I have so much admiration for her because of how she helped me to over come everything I was going through and how much I hated myself, so ye I did really just babble lol.
(me and tess)
What I am trying to say guys and girls is that no matter what size or shape you are whether its like me 5ft tall and a size 18 or you are 6ft tall and a size 8, everyone needs to love themselves.
Love you all