Monday, 22 January 2018

Turning 30 and still clueless!

30!!!!!! When the hell did that happen, ok well it hasn't happened yet, but this year I turn 30, 30! 

When I was younger I alway's thought that by this time I would already be married and have children and be a famous actress. Ok yes I do get married this year, but apart from that I guess life doesn't turn out how we want sometimes. 

Even when I was 20 I thought I have 10 years to find someone to marry, get a job I love and pop out some kids. In fact I went to uni, now work in retail and kids are something I am praying for. Ok so I am making my life seem really rubbish at the moment, in truth it isn't. Yes ok I have no idea what career I would love to do as I seem to change my mind every week, but I have a lovely home, a gorgeous doggy, a man I love and did I mention I get married this year??? 

At high school I would look at grown ups who are my age now and I thought they must be so clued up, they know what they are doing and they have a life. Now I am that age, I am just as clueless as I was back then.

Family wise I am very happy, I have my fiancee and our dog and our home. Yes I would love a baby but that is being worked on. Job wise, erm lets not talk about that. I would love to write for a living but I don't think my grammar and spelling would do very well. I would also love to teach but I don't have the money to go back to uni to train again. I think I am beginning to come to the conclusion that you never really have your life together. 

I find myself getting unbelievably weirded out by the fact that myself and Paul are adulting at all, like when it sinks in that you have a job and you pay for everything, I sometimes feel like I am just playing house but then something will happen and I will look for an adult and it sinks in that I am the adult. 

When did that happen???? Like I still only understand 1 function on my washing machine!! I still don't fully understand how to make poached egg. I don't always do the washing up, I still leave clothes lying around. The only difference between now and when I was a teenager is that my mom isn't around asking me to bring plates down or to do my washing. 

I cant be the only person out there who is utterly clueless at this age??? Please tell me I'm not, please, someone out there....... 

Don't get me wrong I do love adulting too, like no one can tell me not to eat chocolate cake at 7 in thr morning, but then you have to pay all the bills. You have to do a full food shop but then no one can tell you not to order pizza. I suppose it's a bit give and take.

Anyone else suck at adulting? 

See You Soon
Lots of love 

Saturday, 20 January 2018

First Book List of 2018

I have always loved reading, I'm not a very fast reader but I do love getting lost in a good book. I feel like it is so easy to loose yourself and go to a completely new place where anything is possible. 

This year I want to read a lot more then I have been, I don't want to plan my whole year of reading right now as I don't know what books will be coming out this year, but I have 3 books on my list so far. As I said before I am not a very fast reader, so I am going to try and get through a book every two months, if I do it quicker then great but if I don't and it takes a little longer then I don't mind. 

I have my first three books all lined up, book 1 is:

Body Positive Power By Megan Jayne Crabbe 

I have been reading this since last year and it is already helping me so much with how I look at my body and how I look at other people. I no longer judge myself on the number on the scales, I see more then that in myself. I look at what clothing fits instead of focusing on the fact that I am going up in dress sizes. I used to think that thin people were the enemy (sorry), that it was us against them. I now look at everyone and think, if you want to look how you look you do it, ''You Do You'' no one has the right to tell you how you can or can not look, or what your body should or shouldn't look like. If you want to loose weight then do it, but do it for yourself and not to fit into something society has forced you into thinking is and isn't acceptable to look like. 

Already Megan has given me the confidence to look at my body differently, it is not disgusting, it is not ugly, it is cute and cuddly and is me, my body will be here for me forever and I need to love it a little bit better. 

If you are feeling down or feeling like you aren't happy with how you look because of what you see in magazines, have a read of this and trust me you will feel different.

Image result for body positive power

The Not So Subtle Art of Being A Fat Girl by Tess Holliday 

Tess has been an inspiration of mine for a while, she was the first plus size women I followed on Instagram. For me she made me change my opinion on the word Fat. When I was younger I was bullied and fat was the main word I was called. So to me it was the worst thing you could possibly be, worse then a liar, worse then a bully, worse then swearing. It was the one thing you never wanted to be and it was the only thing I was. I carried that around with me for so long, but fat as an adjective means 

'A person having a large amount of excessive skin'

Yes I do have a lot of skin well done. A word has a lot of power, I know that because it affected me for so long, but at the age I am now, I don't let it have that power over me anymore, I own it. If someone was to call me fat now, I would say, thank you for pointing out the obvious, anything else you would like to point out? I have brown hair, I wear glasses, anything else obvious??? Well done you notice I am fat well done!! You can see, and..... that doesn't mean I am not a nice person, or I make my friends laugh, or that I am loved. Yes I am Fat but I am so much more then that too. 

Tess has made me realise that and I honestly can't wait to read her book. 

Image result for the not so subtle of being a fat girl

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone By J.K. Rowling 

HUFFLEPUFF HUFFLEPUFF HUFFLEPUFF!!!! Ok now that is out of my system I have to admit at how bad a HP fan I am, I have never read the books (Covers face in shame) I know I know I'm a fake I'm a fraud!!! But I am going to change that this year, I am going to read them, I cant wait. I know that there will be a lot more in the books then in the movies and I want to know more. 

I am on Pottermore and I am a very proud Hufflepuff, I know my patronus (a blood hound in case your interested) and I know my wand (a unicorn heart string). Yet I have never read the books, so I am very excited to see the characters a bit better and then maybe get a little agree with the producers and writers for changing the stories. 

Image result for harry potter and the philosopher's stone book

These will be my first three books of this year and I cant wait to start reading. What else do you think I should read?? Anyone else read these books, what do you think of them? 

See you Soon 
Lots of Love 

Friday, 5 January 2018

Fat Bride!!

If you know me personally or you are following me on Instagram or Twitter you will know that I am getting married this year!!! I am so unbelievably happy that I can finally say that. I get married in July and honestly I can't wait. 
As a fat bride I knew the ''in'' thing was to loose weight and fit into that dream dress. Every bridal magazine I bought was full of articles like ''How to stop bloating on the big day'' ''Loose 5lbs before your wedding'' ''Best detox diet''. 

I felt like Fat Alice falling down the dieting rabbit hole. Those words were running around in my head, diet, loose weight, fit in that dress. 

Even when I went dress shopping, the women helping me into gowns assumed I would be loosing weight before the big day. I was told which dress would suit my figure after loosing a few pounds. I was told how to make my waist look smaller. 

I went along with it because in my head that is what brides do, they loose weight to have pictures to look back on and say 'oh I looked amazing on my wedding day'. But there is a big secret that the diet industry don't want you to know and that is 

          'No matter what you WILL look amazing on your wedding day' 

Your wedding day is going to be the happiest day of your life, it doesn't matter what you look like, what you wear, who is there, all that matter's is that you are marrying the person you love, and love makes everyone look beautiful. Of course a gorgeous outfit always helps haha. 

I have been through 3 wedding dresses. 2 of which I was positive I would loose weight to fit into, but then I found a lovely lady by the name of Megan AKA BodyPosiPanda and she helped me to realise I don't need to loose weight to be beautiful. I already am beautiful. I started to look at other fabulous fat women and see that what made them so brilliant was their ability to not give a shit about what people thought of them. 

I realised I didn't need to loose weight to be a beautiful bride, because I am going to be a beautiful bride no matter what a set of scales or a magazine article says.

SO for all you plus size, fat, curvy brides out there let me tell you one thing, you do not need to change, you do not need to loose weight for a dress, just be yourself, be you, that is who your marrying fell in love with. You are perfect just the way you are.

See you Soon
Lots of Love 

Sunday, 31 December 2017

Looking Forward

Normally posts at the beginning of the year are all about what happened last year, what went well for me, what didn't, what I wanna change and what things that will stay the same but not for me, not anymore.

I want to look forward in this post, not back. Things have happened in the last year and they have made me who I am now. They have brought me to where I am now and I am greatful for them. 

So looking forward to this year I have two HUGE things happening, firstly in April I turn 30 (yes I know I look like I'm about 12 but yes I am 30 this year). 2nd I get married in July. I also want to do a lot more this year, I want to read more, I want to write more, I want to have more fun. I don't want to take things to seriously anymore. I stressed way too much last year and it got me into such a bad place. 

I'm not going to set myself goals or anything I just want to list what I want to do and maybe set targets but not take them too serious, so I suppose they will be something to aim for rather then something that I NEED to get to so these are the things I want to do :

- Read 6 books - I love reading but I am a slow reader so it does take me a while to read things, so if I do 1 for 2 months that is good enough for me. 

- 1 Blog a week - 
November I was doing 2 blogs a week and I liked it but if I aim for 1 blog a week and can do better then that is brill. 

- 2 videos on my youtube a month - 
I was doing 1 video a week, but I am no good with camera equipment, so Paul normally helps me by filming my videos, so if we don't get a lot of days off together I cant film, so 2 videos a month is a good start (till Paul can teach me how to work the camera. 

- Try and work with more brands/bloggers -
 I loved doing collaborations last year, first with ''From Maisie'' Emma is such a lovely person and I was so happy when she said that she would like to work together with me. Then with Krista from A Beautiful Mind 4 Me, where I did a guest blog about my mental health. I loved working with those lovely ladies and want to do so much more this year. 

I think that is enough for me at the moment, if I feel I can add anything I will, but the main thing for me is that I don't take things too seriously and get stressed out, especially around July for my wedding. 

I am excited about this coming year, I want it to happen quick but I also don't want it to rush past me.

So what are your plans for the new year? 

Have a Brill new year
Lots of Love 

Thursday, 28 December 2017

Blogmas Review

Blogmas what can I say about Blogmas, it was something I wanted to do and had wanted to do for a while, I loved the idea of writing everyday, my blog helps me to write and get things out and I thought giving myself that time each day will make me so much more calmer over the christmas period. 

I wanted to get people involved and so I asked my friends if they would like to be apart of Blogmas, Jordan and Georgie were amazing and there posts have been so good over December, I have loved reading them. 

I was totally prepared for blogmas, I had each day planned out in my diary, I had drafted a few and was looking forward to writing each day too. The only thing I didn't really take into consideration was work. Working in retail is hard over christmas, I worked non stop from the 16th till 24th December, no days off and mainly working from 830am till about 7pm, getting home all I wanted to do was sleep. 

Looking forward to next year I can be a lot more prepared for what I want to do. I do want to do it again next year I just think instead of writing each day I will begin in write my posts in October or November, then have them all edited and ready to post for December. Then each day I will post it and publicise it, which I can easily do on my breaks. 

I have learnt a lot about blogging in the last 2 weeks, like how much I missed it, how it helps me to relax and how stressed I get when I don't write. 

So for next year I will plan blogmas a lot better, prepare to not write for 2 weeks and try not to get to stressed out if I can't write. 

Thank you to everyone who read our blogs and I hoped you enjoyed them. 

See you Soon 
Lots of Love 

Friday, 15 December 2017

Day 12 - Blogmas

Manchester Christmas Markets 

I have lived in Warrington for nearly 3 years and this years was the first time I was able to go to the Manchester Christmas Markets. I love christmas markets, they really make me feel all christmasy and festive and just all warm and sparkly inside. 

Paul had been before with his family but this was our first time going together. We both wanted to drink so we decided to get the train in, it wasn't too bad but the train was packed even tho it wasn't rush hour. We got the tram from Piccadilly station and got off near Manchester town hall. 

I didn't really know what to expect as being from Birmingham our market is all along one street but Manchester's is broken up into little markets all over. I honest have to say I like that, as the crowds are a lot more spread out and so instead of fighting your way through like in Birmingham you get to see a lot more and have a nicer time. 

First things first was obviously a nice hot drink, Paul got a mulled wine and I got a Baileys Hot Chocolate. 

You pay a deposit of £2.50 for your mugs and if you don't want to keep them you get your money back when you hand in your mugs. Both me and Paul like collection the mugs from different markets we go to so we kept ours. Mine was bigger which I thought was funny as I went for Hot Chocolate.

Next stop was the famous Yorkshire Pudding wraps. I saw these on Facebook and I told Paul that I needed to hunt them down as soon as we got the the market. We found them and stood in line, I think we must have got there at the right time because it wasn't too long before we were at the front, by the time we sat down with our food the line was huge. 

If you have no clue what I am talking about, the wrap is a huge Yorkshire pudding, with stuffing, a choice of either Turkey or Beef, carrots and peas, and topped off with a large scoop of gravy, all wrapped up like a tortilla, and put in foil, it was LUSH!!!! I said to Paul I could have done with some cranberry sauce, they did have some but I forgot to ask them to put it on. It was very expensive £7.50 each, but trust me it is so good it is worth it. 

We ate our food then had a proper good mooch round having a couple more mulled wines and Baileys Hot Chocolates and made our way around the rest of the markets, it was really such a good day, it was cold but we kept warm and like I said before with the market stretched out it broke up the crowd. 

If you get a chance to go do it, you will love it. 

Merry Christmas 
Lots of Love

Day 11 - Blogmas

Bents Christmas

Here in the North West we have a brilliant Home and Garden centre called Bents, every year they have what I think are some of the best christmas displays I have ever seen and they just seem to get bigger each year. You can tell how much care and planning goes into the event, So I thought I would show you how cool it actually is. So grab a cuppa and watch a few of the videos I made while wondering around. 

As you can see the displays are amazing, they must work so hard to get these done. They have a huge christmas tree section, and then the displays that show you how different decorations can be used in there different sections. 

As well as these, they also have a big food and drink section outside, they play all christmas music so you get the feel of a christmas market but you get the bonus of being indoors the whole time so it is a little warmer for you. 

Me and Paul love it there because we can take Coco, they have this cute little dog cafe that sells dog friendly food and drink, so I can have a cake and  Coco can have a cake!! How cool is that. So if you are anywhere near the North West I would say make your way over and see how cool Bents is for yourself. 

Merry Christmas 
Lots of Love